Movies And The Predetermined Destruction of Relationships Which Are Yet To Form . . .

doug said . . .

I DON'T GET THE MOVIE ADVICE. "First dates" are creepy. I always end up doing movies for First Meetings, but dates generally don't occur until I've hung out with someone dozens of times.

I'd have to say that in 100% of my relationships (sneaky math!), what was considered the first "date" was a movie, but that may be because I date girls who love movies.

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The topic of this title is a waste of words, I realize, but allow me to explain.

Imagine, for a moment, a bomb capable of imploding the earth. This bomb exists at the primordial stage of our planet. Right as the earth is evolving, plots showing fruition, and the first rose petals bloom . . . dear god, the whole thing has imploded. Oh my.

This, my friend, is the general consequence of a movie date.

I am, as implied with the word "general", generalizing. I supposed, rather pretentiously I confess, that avoiding movies, especially theaters, on the first date was common sense, and as evidence that I'm not entirely an asshole for thinking so, look at the Floyd's Garage Amazon List for Good First Date Movies.

Seems like Floyd was being a bit sarcastic, yes?

There is, of course, the possibility that both you and your date enjoy talking during movies. If so, congratulations, you've lucked out.

I hesitate to recommend new theater releases, and movies overall, along with any scenario which hinders intimate conversation betwixt two persons, for the very reason they hinder that communication. Two hours of silence followed by a half-hour cheap meal? How can one expect to get to know the person! Romance certainly can't be developed when two persons sit quietly in a crowded arena as actors prance about on the screen, munching popcorn.

Welcome, my friend, to Cheap High-School Excuses To Make Out 101. This is your teacher, Mr. Undateable.

How would you feel, may I ask, if your date sat silently next to you without a word? You saw her out and about, talked to her for a few minutes, got her number, and then asked her to sit silently next to you while an enormous screen flashed bright light in her eyes over a sweet, lovely meal of popcorn, raisenettes, and Sprite. Congratulations, Don Juan DeMarco, you've really made her feel special.

Look, throughout history, men have been attracted to beautiful woman, and woman are attracted to men who can provide, i.e. have money.

At some point you'll become friendly enough that this criteria will not hold the same import, but for the moment, be romantic, be special; either treat her like a princess and get her a fine meal with sweet wine (or the forceful taste of a red, if you're eating red meats or tomato sauced pasta), or make her feel like you get to know her.

Don't spend twenty bucks at a cheap theater getting her buttered popcorn when she likes it salted and make her feel like she's your make-out buddy for the next week.

I'm being idealistic, I realize this, supposing a relationship (a successful one) will blossom from whomever you next introduce yourself to, and I won't insist that all first-date movies end in no second-date phone call; simply give yourself the best chance you can, get to know her the best you can, and all those "best chance" things that come with it.

And with quarto's insistance that a walk will suffice, and grandly so, why not save yourself a couple wasted bucks on stale popcorn and put that money towards a nice meal? Even if the date turns to shit, the overpriced shrimp will be worthwhile.